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Some psychologists believe that a significant portion of human behavior is energized and directed by unconscious motives. According to Maslow, "Psychoanalysis has often demonstrated that the relationship between a conscious desire and the ultimate unconscious aim that underlies it need not be at all direct ." In other words, stated motives do not always match those inferred by skilled observers. For example, it is possible that a person can be accident-prone because he has an unconscious desire to hurt himself and not because he is careless or ignorant of the safety rules. Similarly, some overweight people are not hungry at all for food but for attention and love. Eating is merely a defensive reaction to lack of attention. Some workers damage more equipment than others do because they harbor unconscious feelings of aggression toward authority figures.
Psychotherapists point out that some behavior is so automatic that the reasons for it are not available in the individual's conscious mind. Compulsive cigarette smoking is an example. Sometimes maintaining self-esteem is so important and the motive for an activity is so threatening that it is simply not recognized and, in fact, may be disguised or repressed. Rationalization, or "explaining away", is one such disguise, or defense mechanism, as it is called. Another is projecting or attributing one's own faults to others. "I feel I am to blame", becomes "It is her fault; she is selfish". Repression of powerful but socially unacceptable motives may result in outward behavior that is the opposite of the repressed tendencies. An example of this would be the employee who hates his boss but overworks himself on the job to show that he holds him in high regard.
Unconscious motives add to the hazards of interpreting human behavior and, to the extent that they are present, complicate the life of the administrator. On the other hand, knowledge that unconscious motives exist can lead to a more careful assessment of behavioral problems. Although few contemporary psychologists deny the existence of unconscious factors, many do believe that these are activated only in times of anxiety and stress, and that in the ordinary course of events, human behavior — from the subject's point of view — is rationally purposeful.
Certainly, the excellence of character and being gracious to one's household is part of the completion of faith " Prophet Muhammad SWT.
The human being as a social being has the responsibility of being most beneficial and least problematic to society. This responsibility begins in the closest circle of the community, the building block of society - the family. From there it extends to relatives, neighbors, friends and the rest of society. In this social context, let us reflect on some guidelines pertaining to individual responsibility.
Parents
The first in a series of commandments appearing in Surah al-Israa', God has decreed that you worship none but Him and be good to parents. We are instructed to reflect on the effort that parents exert to bring us into this world and to nurture us and therefore to acknowledge our appreciation we are advised to be thankful to God and your parents. Of all the bonds of relationships, the mother holds a unique position. When the Prophet was asked who has most right to our respect and companionship he said your mother, then your mother, then your mother then the rest of society. He also advised a young questioner regarding his relationship with his mother by saying paradise lies at the feet of thy mother.
Spouses
The relationship between two individuals coming together in a loving union of marriage ought to be based on love and compassion. The resulting union must provide sakinah (tranquility). The association of one with the other is described symbolically as garments unto each other; covering, embracing and protecting one another.
The marital relationship is the most intimate of relationships. This Qur'an makes reference to this close bond between the spouses in the words: "they are like garments unto you as you are like garments unto them". Within the bonds of this intimacy; shared feelings, honest and open communication, genuine understanding, mutual responsibility and caring needs to flourish. The intimacy must provide a haven that offers a sense of warmth, safety, security and interdependence. After all, the relationship, according to the Qur'an (30:21), is founded on mawaddah (love and affection) and rahmah (tenderness and compassion), intended to result in sakinah (tranquility and harmony).
This togetherness is multi-dimensional, but is ineffective if it is limited only to bonding through physical closeness. How often has the problem between the spouses been the separation of the husband and wife in unshared emotions, in not being aware of the opinions of the other, of having separate entertainments.
It is not uncommon for a husband to keep his problems to himself, not consider the advice or opinion of his wife, going off to enjoy sporting events while leaving the wife at home with the kids (as if it is her duty), and refusing to help with the household chores because "it is the women's work".
Togetherness means much more than sitting at the table for dinner and sleeping in the same bed. There must exist ...
• an emotional togetherness that emanates from being attuned to each other's feelings
• an intellectual togetherness that allows the sharing of thoughts, ideas and opinions
• a work togetherness where there is involvement in performing chores and everyday tasks
• a recreational togetherness when you have fun and excitement together
• a crisis togetherness when you can lean on each other and support one another in times of difficulty and tragedy
• an aesthetic togetherness through which you share the beauties of the artistry of life and of living
• a spiritual togetherness by means of which you inspire the best in one another and grow closer to the Creator
The best of blessings for the husband is to have a faithful wife who does not betray her husband either in personality or in wealth.
Following the advice of Prophet Muhammad , it is best for the husband to live with his wife in keeping with the best of standards.
The Prophet said: Shall I inform you of the best among you? The respectful gentleman, who has good manners and honors his wife as best he can. In fact, the measure of the goodness of a man is measured by how he treats women.
Farmers Concerned About Energy Bill. I’m Greg Martin with today’s Line On Agriculture.
A new climate and energy bill – called the American Clean Energy and Security Act – aims to lower greenhouse gas emissions. The way it would do that has its ups and downs for the nation’s farmers and ranchers.
STECKEL: There are provisions in this energy and climate bill that we do support, such as the renewable electric standard. However, we do have strong concerns about the cap and trade legislation and how that will negatively affect agriculture.
American Farm Bureau Energy Specialist Anne Steckel says the legislation ignores agriculture, even though many farming practices actually absorb tons of carbon.
STECKEL: We want to get credit for these practices. Agriculture has not specifically been taken into account and that makes it very troubling because this bill gives a lot of latitude on how agriculture will be regulated or how the offsets will be done.
Farmers like provisions for renewable electricity, because many have windmills or solar panels on their land, and for encouraging the use of tree trimmings to make renewable fuels. But those benefits could be outweighed by higher energy costs if industries pass the cost of new cleaner equipment onto consumers.
STECKEL: We’re not sure what it would do to our energy costs. We’re very concerned about our input costs because that’s not something that we can control.
Steckel explains some of the positive aspects of proposed energy and climate legislation.
STECKEL: This is a very broad energy and climate bill. In terms of the energy provisions, it does include a renewable electricity standard, which the farm bureau does support. It also contains a change to the forest/biomass provisions including woody biomass as a renewable fuel and as a part of the renewable electric standard.
Steckel explains why renewable electricity is an important issue for
STECKEL: An important piece of this energy bill includes a renewable electric standard and this is something that is very important for farmers and ranchers because it says that we’ll be using renewable electricity like wind and solar in our supply system. And we’re going to be using 15 percent of that by the year 2020. We often have a lot of windmills on our lands. There are also a lot of solar operations on the land, hydro operations. These are all things that will benefit farmers and ranchers.
That’s today’s Line On Agriculture. I’m Greg Martin on the Northwest Ag Information Network.
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